so yesterday I'm trying to teach math to my 12 year old. I know, that's really funny, but my math has improved greatly through teaching! I swear! ANYWAYS....
I give him a problem, he comes up with an answer that is no where NEAR the answer, so I ask him how he got there. He shows me a really convoluted process that is nothing like what I taught him, but it's at least consistent, as he uses the same process every time (and consequently gets the wrong answer almost every time). So I sweetly rant at him: Son, I don't know why you insist on doing it differently than I taught you and I don't know how to teach you to get the right answer that way. There's only a couple of ways to do this, and your way is neither of them. So when you are ready to get the right answer, I'll teach you how to get there the right way. Hrmph......
And then there it is. This is how God feels with me, almost daily. He's taught me how to do this life: put Him first, love others, be kind, be honest, be a servant, check my motives, take care of myself, do what you are made to do, etc. Then I sit and play Baby Blimp for 2 hours instead of doing something that would feed my soul or take care of my family and wonder why it's not working for me. Or I am dishonest with my husband about my feelings and wonder why I suddenly resent him. Or I lose my vision for motherhood by comparing myself to others and I wonder why I'm resistant to serving my family. Or I do a good thing, but only so others will think I'm good, and wonder why they see me as proud.
I do it my way, over and over again, wonder why I keep getting the wrong answer and then get mad at God cause it's SO HARD. I want to do it my way and get the right answer. I'm 12. Hey, I aged 10 years! At this rate I'll die at 18.