First post

My very own place to say all the stuff I want to say! The title comes from the fact that so often in my life I realize how very like a 2yo I am, or need to be. I have had many many great spiritual truths revealed to me in the behavior of my children. It's one of the coolest parts of being a parent. And the hardest.

One of the times I was confronted with a behavior I could do well to imitate in my 2yo came from my son Asher. He was happily beating my kitchen table with a spoon. I asked him to stop, but although he had paused to consider my request, he started again. I asked him, "I need you to stop, do you need some help obeying." I have asked all my kids this, most of the time they say no and either choose to obey or not. Asher looked at me, looked at his spoon, very sadly said, "yes, I need help." and handed me the spoon. I remember thinking, wow.....what would my life look like if I did that with my heavenly Father. What if instead of either hiding my sin or pretending it's not as bad as it is or that I can totally handle it, I just said, "I can't possibly stop on my own, I need you to help." and handed it to Him?

I also frequently am confronted with my own behavior towards God. One of my sweet boys had such a bad diaper rash and had come to me with a poopy diaper asking to be changed. I started to change him, but he then realized it was going to hurt and started backing away saying no, no I don't have poop, I'm ok, really(in 2yo talk). I had to change my boy anyway, I couldn't leave him in his own mess, and it hurt both him and me to get it done. Afterwards, he sat in my lap crying, but refused to let me put my arms around him and truly comfort him. He wanted to be with me because I am a source of comfort, but he was still mad I had caused him pain. Then he got up and thanked me for changing him. How many times have I done that? I go to God, literally smelling of my sin and really wanting change and yet when He gets to going on it, I back away, saying it's fine, I'm good, no thanks, it's gonna hurt. I mean, I know it's gonna hurt to leave it, it's actually going to make it worse to leave it, but I'm ok with that. I just don't want the pain it'll take to change it. But He's not just gonna leave me in my own mess, now that I've brought it to Him, it's gotta change. Then I get mad, really mad that it hurt and don't want Him to comfort me cause after all, HE'S the one that did it. And usually, some time down the road (sometimes YEARS down the road), I'm able to thank Him for that change. Please let me always be thankful for that change.

So that's why this is my life as a two year old. I am a two year old mad cause I don't get my own way, confused because I don't understand the basics, distracted easily by pretty stuff, lost in my own world, and hopefully, never far from my Father.